The Starr Chamber

February 1998

Maybe it's fitting that a White House sex scandal should arise during a month with both President's Day and Valentine's Day, but hasn't this up-to-the-minute news coverage gone just a little too far? I can't go anywhere without seeing pictures of Monica Lewinsky and Paula Jones staring at me, both looking like victims of a TV talk-show makeover gone horribly wrong.

How did we get to this point from an investigation of some shady real estate investments, and why is it that the sex scandal seems to be the only thing many news sources are talking about? "Let's see. What can we focus on to get the public's attention? Campaign finance? Numbers are dull. Tensions in Iraq? Old news. Bill Clinton's questionable past? Yeah! Bill might've gotten lucky in the Oval Office! That's something we can get everyone to rally against!" Though I was glad the President refrained from talking about the alleged tryst during his recent State of the Union address, I wondered if some Joe Sixpack was out there staring at his TV and shouting "Hey! When's he gonna talk about that intern?"

How come we, the public, can no longer digest news beyond three-second sound bytes, shots of celebrities, and tales of violence or lurid behavior? When did the lowest common denominator become the norm? When Lewinsky finished testifying, I didn't need to know about her flight home, meals, and outfits during her remaining seconds of fame on the Andy Warhol clock. It almost makes me wish for a major armed conflict of some sort just to keep the growing line of rich-and-famous and Katos-in-waiting at bay.

Let's strike a blow (no, not you, Monica) for attention spans everywhere and seek out those sources that don't pander to gossip and quick titillation. If we don't, we'll all eventually be reading a 12-page New York Times in the supermarket checkout lines, and watching the "E" channel for the latest from Washington.

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He has previously written online editorials to NJ-shout.com (RIP), Great Society.org, and Songsource.com, among others. He has also been featured in ShoreGuide and AbsoluteWrite.com.

Dan is a current member of the NetWits humorist's collective.

Since his early twenties, Dan's writings have also been prominently featured on the refrigerator in his parents' home. "Sure, they make no sense," Mrs. O'Leary comments, "but we're proud of him -- no matter what everyone else says."