Dan's Info (v. 2005)

Bio | I-FAQ | Credits

Dan's Bio

Here's a little information about me.

I was a child of the late '60s, born in Newark, NJ. Despite this early handicap, my parents managed to raise me as a fairly normal child. This was done by moving out of Newark. I went to school here at the Jersey Shore (home to two MTV Beach Houses - insert your gasps here), and decided to stay. In college, I learned the importance of a dollar: you can't stay in school when you run out of money.

Several years ago, I started writing humorous commentary for a local paper, and I've been amusing others with it ever since, though I'm still unsure if they're laughing with me or at me. I've put my written meanderings on the Web site you're reading now, proving there's a place for anything on the Internet.

I've written a number of short stories, a novel, and several non-fiction articles over the last few years. I've received two awards from the CWA for some serious pieces I did for my union, an award from the Online Voice for Best Topical Topics, a Best Short Humor December '02 award from the Writers With Humor group, and several kudos from other humor Web sites. This elevates me from lowly "unknown writer" to the lofty stature of "award-winning unknown writer."

I write music and perform with several local bands (you've never heard of us), maintain my column, do some cartooning, read lots of books to further ruin my eyesight, and play all types of games with friends. I try to stay active by bicycling, swimming, and taking walks.

My biggest activities involve my progenitorial projects -- Amanda, Daniel, and Evan -- eight, seven, and 1.1 years old, respectively. They give my lovely wife and I arduous new parenting lessons on a daily basis. This also accounts for my usual sleep-deprived state of mind as I scribe another vain attempt to explain the world in 700 words or less.

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IFAQ: the Infrequently Asked Questions list

Q: Where do you come up with your ideas?
I usually just think about things that bother or confuse me and write them down. Since I get bothered and confused a lot, there's loads of source material.

Q: WHY do you come up with your ideas?
Therapy is too expensive.

Q: Why New Jersey?
Despite the jokes, New Jersey can be a nice place to live. Just keep your inhaling to a minimum and everything will be fine. Living along the coast is also the best spot in the state -- just south enough of New York City to not have an attitude, and just north enough of Atlantic City to not be involved in organized crime (or, so I've heard anyway).

Q: Who are your influences?
Dave Barry (He of the Pulitzer), Dennis Miller, PJ O'Rourke, Douglas Adams, David Sedaris, Robert Benchley, and Mark Twain, among others. And I sincerely hope that these good people will not be insulted by the association. (Three of them being dead would make it difficult for them to be annoyed.)

Q: Hmm, O'Leary, eh? Any relatives in Chicago? (ha-ha)
Yeah, good question, no matter how many people ask me that on a daily basis, thinking they're the first person to ever mention it. Sorry, lost the happy for a minute. Okay, here's the deal: the cow was paid off. The city back behind on its protection payments, and they... Hmm, I've probably said too much already -- bovines have good hearing.

Q: Do you make money off this column?
No, but then, does anything on the Web actually make money? When subscriber numbers go into four digits, I hope to cover expenses with sponsors. For now, I just enjoy knowing there are others out there who think the way I do, no matter how scary that might be.

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Writing Credits

Dan O'Leary is the current columnist for New Jersey Lifestyle Magazine's "The Last Word."

In previous years, he has written online editorials to sites like NJ-shout.com (RIP), The Online Voice, among others. Dan is a current member of the NetWits humorist's collective.

Since his early twenties, Dan's writings have also been prominently featured on the refrigerator in his parents' home. "Sure, they make no sense," Mrs. O'Leary comments, "but we're proud of him -- no matter what everyone else says."

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LEGAL STUFF: All content copyright © 1996-2006 Daniel O'Leary. All rights reserved. No unauthorized duplication, publication, or distribution.

These Days Home

He has previously written online editorials to NJ-shout.com (RIP), Great Society.org, and Songsource.com, among others. He has also been featured in ShoreGuide and AbsoluteWrite.com.

Dan is a current member of the NetWits humorist's collective.

Since his early twenties, Dan's writings have also been prominently featured on the refrigerator in his parents' home. "Sure, they make no sense," Mrs. O'Leary comments, "but we're proud of him -- no matter what everyone else says."