Point & Click...& Click...& Click...& Click...

July 1996

We recently celebrated a landmark in our history, one that has changed our culture forever. No, it's not some election, war, or space launch; I'm talking about the 25th anniversary of the television remote control. Yes, The Clicker, The Box; instrument of channel-surfer and couch potato alike. The miracle device that saves us that grueling 15-foot journey to our TV control panel. Sure, it makes TV watching easier, but are the side effects worth it?

First, some of us don't need another excuse to further reduce our lack of activity. I know people who complain they don't get enough exercise and use the remote enough to give themselves carpal tunnel syndrome. It must be special circuits inside the box that send messages through the nerves in our fingertips to keep us immobile while the TV's on (probably invented by the Jenny Craig people to keep up their clientele.) Even when there's nothing on anyone with a triple-digit IQ would watch, we cycle through all 137 channels, remote in hand, looking for something worthwhile, and if at first we don't succeed, we cry out "I can't be paying $40 a month for this!" lower our standards and try again.

The real problem, though, is the effect the RC has on our collective attention span. We're so comfy with our clickers, we zap anything that doesn't titillate us for more than 30 seconds: "I was going to finish the debates on CNN, but there's a good 'Seinfeld' rerun I've only seen 17 times..." TV programmers realized this downward spiral in the 1980s, and gave us short-attention-span, lowest-common-denominator theater like MTV, "Baywatch", and "Nick at Night."

And now the Internet gives us the exact same thing: Point & click, ZAP! You're checking White House press releases. Bored? ZAP! You're in Hollywood checking out new movies. ZAP! You're at "A Current Affair" Online, checking out the latest "Melrose" couplings and "Baywatch" silicon updates.

But Clicker Culture doesn't stop there, according to phone and cable companies. The future's coming, friends, and it's carrying a Mastercharge. Soon, we'll be shopping through our TVs, zapping clothes, food, and people out of our lives like Captain Kirk zapping Klingons. Will this make our condition worse, as we sit on our collective expanding duff, burning out our glazed-over retinas as we surf deeper into the consumer's undertow? Will we turn into a world of reclusive, weak-eyed Couch Commandos that can't concentrate on something for more than 8 seconds? Will we...er, what was I talking about again?

LEGAL STUFF: All content copyright © 1996-2006 Daniel O'Leary. All rights reserved. No unauthorized duplication, publication, or distribution.

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He has previously written online editorials to NJ-shout.com (RIP), Great Society.org, and Songsource.com, among others. He has also been featured in ShoreGuide and AbsoluteWrite.com.

Dan is a current member of the NetWits humorist's collective.

Since his early twenties, Dan's writings have also been prominently featured on the refrigerator in his parents' home. "Sure, they make no sense," Mrs. O'Leary comments, "but we're proud of him -- no matter what everyone else says."